Friday, September 30, 2005

New solution for hurricane Katrina clean-up

In a press conference held today in the White House, the Secretary of State has announced the newest plan for cleaning up the devastation. Here is part of the Secretary's speech: "We do not have enough resources to sufficiently manage the clean-up of both Texas and Lousiana, so we had to decide which was most important. The coin landed heads, so we have decided that, in order to preserve resources and better America's relationship with France, we are going to return Louisiana to France."
How is the public handling it? Here are some responses from Lousiana residents:
"It's about time!"
"I sure am glad I took French instead of Spanish while I was in high school."
"While the government's at it, why don't they just give the East Coast back to England, New York back to Holland, and Texas back to Mexico!"

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Old games

Every year, tons of new games come out. Don't get me wrong, some new games are very good. There are however, others that aren't worth the money it takes to buy or the time it takes to download. Sometimes I long for older games. Here are a few games that, if you feel the same way I do, you would probably enjoy.

Commander Keen 4: Goodbye Galaxy: A very simple game where you play a brilliant child who fights evil aliens (mostly slugs and round colored balls with eyes) using his ray gun and pogo stick.

Motoracer: A very well-designed racing game. Compete against AI motorcycles in single race or do the tournament for a challenge. Reverse mode (you do the courses the opposite direction from what you did them the first time) and pocket bike mode gives this game a high replay value.

Railroad Tycoon 2: Build your railroad empire on Europe, North America, the British Isles, Africa and many other places. Keep your engines modern, buy trains, build new stations, and look at what customers want. A complicated game, but very fun.

Monday, September 19, 2005

More Humorous Epitaphs

Here are some more humorous epitaphs from Uncle John's 4-Ply Bathroom Reader:

Seen in Winslow, Maine:
Beza Wood, 1792-1837
Here lies one Wood enclosed in wood,
One within the other,
The outer wood is very good.
We cannot praise the other.

Seen in Boot Hill Cemetery, Dodge City, Kansas:
He played five Aces.
Now he's playing the harp.

Seen in Enosburg, Vermont:
In memory of Anna
Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Seen in Burlington, NJ
:
Mary Ann Lowder, 1798
Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder,
Who burst while drinking a Seidlitz powder.
Called from this world to her Heavenly Rest
She should have waited till it effervesced.

Seen in Tombstone, Arizona
:
Lester Moore
Here lies
Lester Moore
Four slugs from a 44.
No Les
No more.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Have you ever noticed...?

Have you ever noticed:
-things are always the last place you look?
-that washers and dryers need not only electricity and water, but also an occasional sock?
-that one of the only times people remember to put a pitcher back in the fridge is when there is only enough for about half a glass?
-that spaghetti and other kind of pasta always seem to find a way onto a new tablecloth, shirt...?
-that every sci-fi show has to, at some point, do an alternate reality and a time travel episode?

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Humorous Epitaphs

Here are some epitaphs that made me chuckle while I was reading Uncle John's Fifth Bathroom Reader:

Seen in Ribbersford, England:
Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
and the Devil sent him Anna.

Seen in Falkirk, England:
Jimmy Wyatt
At rest beneath this slab of stone
Lies Stingy Jimmy Wyatt;
He died one morning just at ten
And saved a dinner by it.

Seen in Thanet, England:
Against his will, here lies George Hill
Who from a cliff, fell down quite stiff.
When it happened is not known,
Therefore not mentioned on this stone.

Monday, September 05, 2005

IM pranks are an art

I don't know what it is, but whenever I have a casual IM conversation with my school friends, my creative, sometimes funny side kicks in. Here are some "pranks" that I have played:

1.The dictionary
Copy a few definitions out of the dictionary of any words you want. Then, when they ask you what you are doing, start responding with a single word and it's definition. I have done it, and it was over when the person I was talking with put "idiot n."

2.The switch
One time, I had a friend over. He started talking for me on IM, and he would say the most ridiculous things. He would start talking about something my friend knew a bit about (in this case collodial silver)and then would say something ridiculous like he as "me" was making it in the toilet. Then my friend started asking all kinds of questions to make us feel stupid, but we came up with ridiculous answers. He asked us how long it takes to make collodial silver. We replied something like overnight. He said we were wrong, but we said it took us longer because we were only using AAAs. Try this one on an unsuspecting friend and see how long it takes them to catch on.

3.Repetition
Another thing that is fun to do is repeat what the window says. For example, type "______(your username) is writing a message." Whoever you'll talking with will probably be expecting something more than that. Also try "_________(your username) may not reply because he or she appears to be offline" just before you sign off.

Have you played any good pranks while IMing?

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Won't be posting as often

I won't be posting as often from now on because of school. I will hopefully post at least once a week. In the mean time, check out www.eightiron.blogspot.com and www.threeofsix.blogspot.com.